I am two days away from turning thirty years old and I can’t help but feel incomplete. I remember when I was in my early 20s and thinking "By 30 I will have my stuff together." Whenever I thought of my 30 year self, I thought of being a successful therapist, mom of two, happily married, traveling and possibly be a public and/or a motivational speaker. I didn’t ask for much but even the simple things that I thought would be obtainable is far from my reach at this point. I know, I know, trust me I know, that life is unpredictable and you can’t plan your life around the unexpected, but I guess I thought things would be different. I can’t help but think of a line from the show Shameless when Lip said, "I just need someone to say screw (keeping it PG) it. This kid deserves a chance." I just needed a chance to choose me instead of choosing others, say no when I said yes, trust the process rather than resisting, trying to control the uncontrollable, and again choose me bec...

As I write this post, I realized that I have never really been open about this topic before and interesting enough it’s the most consistent thing in my life. It’s the lame word that everyone has attached their own meaning to and will quickly judge you or they will empathize with you when it’s being talked about... I have learned that I can be okay with either response, with a lot of "inside" work and learning I am okay even if others do not understand.  When I was around 21 years old there were HUGE changes in my life with being a newly wed, moving and a new job. If anyone really knows me, they know how much I hate change and everything was changing at that point in my life. As the months went on I noticed myself declining but I wasn’t aware or educated enough on why I was feeling so down.  I literally forced myself into being sick so that I could be home and alone instead of going to work or out with friends. I legitimately had some health issues such as migraines, dizzy spe...