It's just emotions taking me over.

This week I have been full of crazy emotions. I feel like there is so much going on and not enough time to wrap my head around it. I feel like I need to sort out these emotions to feel better. 

First things first, my little brother is moving to California. It has been really hard to see one of my best friends leave.

He and I have had a bond that can't be explained. We have been inseparable since he has been born. Mason is a light in my life and truly makes my life better and easier. The adventures he takes our family on and the things he has taught us and will continue to teach us is invaluable. 

 We are so much alike and I think for the most part we know how to help each other through anything. We have been through a lot and we are always there for one another. 

It breaks my heart knowing he might not be there when baby J comes but I know he will be a big part of his life. I'm so grateful Mason will be an example for my baby boy. 

Mason is one incredible person. He is so smart,determined,grounded,spiritual and loving and I can't wait to watch his dreams come true. Although, it is super hard to watch him go I am really proud of him for following his dreams! 

Go get em buddy! 

 

The next thing that is weighing on my mind and it's kind of hard to explain but I will do my best. This pregnancy has been rough! Plain and simple! I have been to the emergency room three times and have been sick for the entire pregnancy. I hate hate to be negative and I try to never use public forum to air my dirty laundry. 

One reason is because I am fully aware that I have friends that can not get pregnant or people that have unhealthy babies and the LAST thing I want to do is complain about my sickness or scares in the public. 

That being said many don't know my circumstance because I have been silent. As far as everyone is concerned I am pregnant with occasional sickness. Unfortunately that isn't the case. There's more to it. But I don't really want to play the victim. 

My point is this.... I understand that I haven't been as fully committed to things as I should be but I am asking for other's to be patient with me. It breaks my heart knowing people are judging Parker and I when they don't know the whole situation. 

I wish people would try to understand. So I guess it's just a life lesson to learn and sometimes you have to learn it over again. But please be careful, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. From this trial I have learned not to judge others too quickly because I don't know their full story. I don't want someone to feel the same way that I have been feeling lately. 

 

To end on a lighter note I am in my third trimester! Holy cow!!! I can't believe we have 11 weeks left. It is such a scary and exciting feeling all at once. I'm trying to wrap my brain around that I, MEAGAN HEALY will be having PARKER JONES'S BABY!!!! Haha I am going to be a freaking MOM! It's so crazy! I am trying to really live in the moment and try to let the stresses of labor, complications, and the stress with being a new mom fall by the way side. 

I truly am grateful I have such a close relationship with my brother that I cry when he leaves and miss him like crazy already.

I am grateful for this pregnancy and the experiences I go through so I can be even more grateful for the good days. 

I am grateful for my trials because they teach me to be a better person and have faith in The Lord. 

I am grateful for those who have been understanding especially my family that have really helped me and Parker get through this. 

I am grateful for Parker and how amazing he has been through all of this.