You’re human! 

Throughout my entire life, the most consistent feedback that is given to me by various sources is, "Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a human!" I never really took the time to reflect on what this meant. Honestly, I was more annoyed than anything because how unhelpful was that "snide" comment when I need to keep the balancing act up rather than be told what species I am? People just didn’t get it. But the truth is... I didn’t get it. Sometimes I still don’t get it. 

I am human but I act as if I am "superhuman" that I can handle everything that comes my way and takes on more than I should. I push myself way too hard and way too far. I stay too long and I am loyal to a fault. I have learned this is actually a great job interview answer when they ask, "What is one of your weaknesses? Clever right?! You’re welcome. 

As I have reflected about being a human, I realized this actually goes a lot deeper for me. I feel like I have to be "perfect" in order to prove my worth. I have to work extra hard in order for people to value me. I tell myself, "you're not very smart so you better work your ass off. You're not really worthy so hustle."

 Here’s the catch though, humans oftentimes do not feel worthy on their own and find ways to feel valued. It’s actually a pretty interesting thing to reflect on about what you do to feel valued. I try to remind myself in those moments that there is nothing I can do to add or subtract from my worth. I often tell myself this but it can be difficult when I am at my low points and look outwards for validation. 

I don't know man, life is so tricky and I will be the first one to admit that I oftentimes don't know what I am doing and I am also learning most people don't have any idea either. We just smile and keep wondering when the "adult" will show up to clean up the mess.

I do know humans are beautiful, complicated,  messy and worthy and it happens all at the same time. That’s going to have to be okay and it’s going to have to be enough. We are all just wanting connection and to be loved. 

Today I will remind myself I am human and that’s why I am enough. 


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